Morning Star by Pierce Brown

5/5 stars

SPOILERS AHEAD

"And as we pretend to be brave, we become so."

"Live without love is the worst prison of all."

"How sad, the dependability of greed to make men fools."

"Anything that believes only in itself cannot go happily into the night."

I'm going to do my best to make this as concise of a review as possible, but that's going to be a nearly impossible task with all of the things I felt throughout this book, so fair warning.

I truly don't even know where to begin. I'm equally devestated, angry, relieved, and happy as I finish this book. I read this as a hardcopy instead of on my Kindle, and had to take my notes in my notes app instead of scribbling all over the book, and reading through all of my feelings and reactions to everything that happened feels like whiplash.

Okay now I'm going to just go through my notes and try to form complete thoughts, let's all strap in together.

I cannot believe that Darrow and Victra were locked away for a full YEAR. Three months of straight up, grisly torture, 9 months of solitary confinement and mental games. And then immediately having to fight their way out when Holiday and Trigg (rip lil man) came was diabolical, not to mention that the mental torture of not knowing if their rescue was another manipulation tactic by the Jackal was another level of evil. He and Victra were so unbelievably traumatized, my mind cannot actually comprehend the level of strength it would take to come back from something like that. Not just literal physical strength you have to regain, but mental strength to even continue on. Thinking your entire family was killed, that everyone thought you were dead because they publicly executed a lookalike and that no one was looking for you anymore... truly, truly unfathomable.

"I am just a boy, and I shiver and cower and hide from my enemy because I know the price of failure, and I am so very afraid."

"I bite back a curese and cut the signal short, not sure if I'm angry with him or with myself, or because I know the Jackal removed the spark that made me feel different. Every opinion I have feeble, and malleable to others. Because I know, deep down, beneath the intimidating scarabSkin, beneath the demon mask, is a callow little boy who cried because he was scared of being alone in the dark."

I mean, come on, there is so much weight on his shoulders my poor baby. Watching him grow into that power made me feel like a proud little bystandard. His first big broadcasted speech, with no sigils on his hands, gave me goosebumps.

"I would have lived in peace. But my enemies brought me war. My name is Darrow of Lykos. You know my story. It is but an echo of your own."

"I remove my gloves and clench my right fist in the air as Eo did before she died. But unlike Eo, my hands bear no Sigils... I am the first soul in hundreds of years to walk without them."

Sevro's storyline throughout this book was wild and honestly, his growth makes me so, so happy. I love that weird little freak so much, and learning that he was now Ares made me so proud of him. And when he told Darrow he had his family I could have squeezed him until he popped I loved him so much in that moment. And he never stopped looking for Darrow.

"He never stopped looking for you. I thought he was mad. He said you weren't dead. That he could feel it. That he would know."

I'm also waiting until the day I find someone who loves me as much as Sevro loves Darrow. Someone who would literally take my old eyes and have them Carved into himself. I was straight up cackling at Darrow and Ragnar's reaction to Sevro literally having Darrow's eyes inside of his own head. Darrow just says "finders keepers". I need that.

"Mickey had your eyes in a crybox at his joint in Yorkton - creepy place, by the way - when we raided it for supplies to bring back to Tinos to help the Rising. I figured you weren't usin' 'em so... SO I asked if he'd put 'em in. You know, Bring us closer together. Something to remember you by. That's not so weird, right?"

Howling. (Get it?)

There was a moment there where I thought Sevro might be taking things a little too far. The power struggle between he and Darrow had me more stressed than them all literally getting sucked out into space to avoid getting killed. I was worried that he might to irreprable damage to their relationship by killing everyone in that meeting just to mainly get Cassius. I think if he had killed the Telemanuses and Mustang they might not have been able to come back from that. And I felt for him when Darrow had to force the Howler's to essentially choose between him and Sevro, and they chose him in the end.

"I know the look. I've felt it on my own face too many times to count. I'm ripping away the only thing he's ever cared about. His Howlers. After all he's done, I make them choose me over him, when he doesn't trust I'm ready. It's an indictment of his leadership, a validation of the intense self-doubt I know he must feel in the wake of his father's passing... I tried words with him, tried using our friendship to make him see reason, but since I've been back I've seene him respon to things only with violence and force. So now I'll speak his bloodydamn language."

Quicksilver was an interesting character, and he dropped the biggest truth bomb on Sevro's head that I think he really needed to hear.

"For all his faults, your father was a visionary. He promised me something better. And what has his son given us instead? Ethnic cleansing. Nuclear war. Beheadings. Pogroms. Whole cities shredded by fractious groups of Red rebels and Gold reprisals. Disunity. In other words, chaos. And chaos, Mr. Barca, is not what I invested in."

I love that throughout the book he got his humor and spark back and that he seemed to settle back into who he was and his purpose. Overall, I'm really happy with how Sevro's story ended with him and Victra getting married. I hope for all of the best things in the world for him. he grew so much and became such a wonderful man.

Mustang, my girl. I knew she wouldn't betray Darrow. I can't imagine how hard it was so think he was dead for a full year, immediately after learning that everything she knew about him was a lie. She had to have felt so betrayed by him learning he was a Red and that he spent all of those years trying to undermine her color. But I knew she was too good in her heart to not understand the motives behind it.

"Do you think Virginia would have let you live in that tunnel when you and Ragnar were on your knees if she did not believe in your new world?"

I did not expect, however, for her to become the knew Sovereign after they killed Lune. Darrow was so proud of her and it made me so happy for them.

I also did not expect her to HAVE HAD A CHILD?!?!?! That was crazy. I do feel like the ending was a bit rushed and maybe a little chiche, and I usually hate a surprise pregnancy, but I kind of wanted more of the story. We just get a surprise child at the end and learn very little about the years that he was hidden. She's a badass though for having a child and then immediately going right back to war. I loved that the Telemanus family was so involved with her pregnancy though. That family makes me so happy. And naming the baby Pax felt very full circle.

Physical tears. Like streaming, ugly tears, when sweet angel Ragnar died. That was without a doubt one of the saddest things I've ever read in my entire life, and I fear it will haunt me forever.

"Ragnar blanches at the blood, an embarrassed look on his face as he whispers apologies."

"I will die with my friends... I will give Eo your love. I will make a house for you in the Vale of your fathers. It will be beside my own. Join me there when you die. But I am no builder. So take your time. We will wait."

Like you have to be absolutely kidding me. Those words absolutely ripped my heart to shreds. He deserved so much and he brought so much life to the Rising. So many people came to love him in such a little time.

"It made Ragnar a better man to know you. So you didn't get him killed. You helped him live."

Darrow gave Rags something so special, and in return Rags gave so much hope to the Rising and the future. He died a free man and I literally could burst into tears just thinking about it now. I loved that guy so much.

If we had to lose Ragnar, I'm glad we got Sefi. I'm so sad that she only got to see her brother again in death, but it brought the Obsidians into the fold, and they would have lost the war without them. She is quite literally one of the most badass characters ever. To not speak in twenty five years, and for your first words to be "she knew" after slaughtering your own mother? I wouldn't fuck with her. And the Obsidians doing shrooms before going in to war had me absolutely rolling. What a chaotic type of people. I love it.

Call me crazy... but Victra might be one of my favorite female characters ever written. She's got such a dynamic personality and I wish we had gotten more in depth into it throughout this book. Her flirty personality and absolutely savagery make her so fun to read because you never really know what to expect. I never would have anticipated her having any interest in Sevro at all, but I love the two of them together. Sevro deserved someone as loyal and fearless as Victra.

She's also such a wonderful friend to Darrow. From the beginning of the book as she helped him through his panic attacks and self doubt, through the end by making calls that she knew would haunt Darrow. She was reliable and loyal from day one and I respected her so much.

"Share the load, darling. This one's on me."

"I am a Julii. Cold runneth through my veins. Don't ask me to be different because you need validation, please. It's beneath the both of us."

"Bitch captured. Kavax free. Victory mine."

Cassius... Jesus fucking Christ if he was real he would be getting my therapy bills, but I guess I'll just send them to Mr. Brown instead because holy fuck I almost had a heart attack when he shot Sevro. I actually had to sit in silence and contemplate if I would make it through the rest of the book if Sevro really had just died. My note literally said: "NO FUCKING WAY WHAT THE FUCK CASSIUS?!?!?!?!".

Their plan was genius, and it obviously got them the win over the Sovereign in the end, but man those couple chapters where I thought Sevro was gone and Cassius had been the one to take him from Darrow were some of the hardest I've ever read. In all honestly, I googled whether or not he was really dead after the first chapter of thinking he was gone because I couldn't handle the stress.

Aja, the Jackal, and Roque... you little shits deserve absolutely nothing but the way you died. Fuck all of you little cretins I hate you. And Roque took such a bitchy way out by killing himself. I would have loved to see him get some real justice, but I get why Darrow couldn't do it. Still fuck that guy though.

I love how the thing that ends up winning battles and giving the Rising the edge is the clawDrills that Darrow's known his whole life. It felt like such a sense of justice to have the tides turn against the Golds using equipment that could only be operated by those they put beneath them. It feels especially poingient in today's day and age where we're literally living in a fascist society with an autoritarian leader (even though ours is fucking stupid and the Soverign obviously had an IQ over 50). All of the politics and scheming just felt a little close to home with the way our world is shaping out today. Makes me want to start a rebellion of my own.

I said this in the last review as well, but I think I need these made into a movie. I just know that the scenes in space would be absolutely mind blowing, but my brain is just so low budget. I want to see these battles between moons and planets and massive space ships played out how Pierce imagined them when he wrote them. I can't even begin to imagine the scale and intensity of it all.

I'm very concerned for the next books when Romulus and the other Moon Lords try to get back at Darrow for him undermining them during the last battle... can't imagine that's going to go over well. I just know that the next shoe is going to drop and launch these poor guys into chaos all over again.

Pierce... if you kill Victra, Sev, Darrow, or Mustang I swear to god... I won't do anything but I'm gonna be really upset. I'll still read your books though please keep writing thank you.